|
(I wrote this article last Friday and wanted to keep it in another day or so. It's a spin-off experience of losing my first love of 48 years.) Have you noticed how much someone talks about their life partner when they suddenly find themself alone with out their marriage partner? Whether it's talkin or writin, I guess they -- er... "we" have to express ourselves as a way to help adjust to the reality of the situation and help identify the reason for the intense psychic pain.
I filled out a personal information sheet in a medical office last Thursday and was stunned when I came to those boxes I had never paid much attention to before ---- Single, Married, Divorced, Widowed?
Wow! Did that bring reality crashing in on me.
I can't even begin to express what raced through my mind and heart as I checked "that" box for the first time!
It was like having my entire life flash before me -- as I plunged from the tenth floor to the pavement of Peachtree Street. And the few nanoseconds of electrical impulses that coarsed through my wiring and across my synapses was something to experience. That had to be what 5,000 volts feels like. And the emotion that raced up from the depths of my heart was full bodied and so rich in flavor. It was more than I could do to keep my composure. What a simple little box can do to you.
I'm sure that "divorced" box right next to the "Widowed" box would throw the same amount of emotion at you. But maybe not as intense because some conflict would have been involved in the process and that may have softened the blow. But the sense of rejection, failure and betrayal has to be intense for the "Divorced" box checkers. And I guess great anger could be stimulated. "What business is it for them to know my relational history? Nosey jerks." No matter what -- those two little inocuous boxes on any information form are tough to handle for the first time. Believe me!
As I sat in the waiting room, scraping myself from off the walls and pulling it all back together, I was reminded about a beautiful truth. I had not changed. I was the same. One of the roles the Lord had given me so many years ago, and which I have gotten used to and probably taken for granted, had changed! That's all. But that's a lot, isn't it?
Scripture clearly and proudly proclaims that Jesus is the same -- yesterday, today, and forever! There's my anchor. Right where it's always been for me! And he will help me as I reluctantly learn to accept his perfect "transplanting" process. We never stop growing you know. If you do -- you've had it.
|
