The Kraft Music Hall began its 15-year broadcast life under band leader Paul Whiteman and singer/actor Al Jolson, but it’s Bing Crosby for whom the show is best known. Crosby took over as program-host late in 1935, and it was during his decade-long reign on the show that Bing enjoyed the peak of his film, radio, and popular music fame.

Bing was born Harry Lillis Crosby in Tacoma, Washington in 1903. In the 1920’s he abandoned law school at Gonzaga University to become a singing-drummer on the vaudeville circuit! By 1925 he’d moved to Los Angeles and began performing in theaters and nightclubs with old college pal Al Rinker. Both friends would sing while Rinker played piano and Crosby accompanied on drums.

In 1927 Paul Whiteman saw them perform and immediately signed them up to tour with his band. Later Crosby left the orchestra to work with Gus Arnaheim back in Los Angeles. In 1931 Crosby signed a recording contract with CBS and the following year began his acting career with Paramount Pictures.

As a part of Crosby’s deal with CBS, he was given his own daily radio program, Fifteen Minutes with Bing Crosby, which showcased the crooner’s musical talents. From 1931-35 Bing worked several other variety programs on CBS, for sponsors such as Chesterfield cigarettes and Woodbury soap. By this time Crosby had become a major star and late in 1935 he decided to switch over to NBC and host The Kraft Music Hall .

The Music Hall’s hour-long format was a perfect match for Crosby’s warm and relaxed stage presence. The show featured a mixture of music, jokes, and casual conversation.

One of the regular cast members included Bob Burns, “the Arkansas Traveler,” teller of tall-tales, and player of a comical bass-instrument of his own invention that he called a “bazooka.” This glorified whisky jug of a bass consisted of two pieces of pipe that were slid one over the other in a trombone-like manner when played. The “bazooka” moniker would soon be adopted by our troops in the coming war, who affectionately referred to their anti-tank rocket guns by the same name as Burns’ crude pipe instrument.

Other Music Hall cast-members featured over the years included: bandleader Jimmy Dorsey, drummer Spike Jones, trombonist Jerry Colonna, vocalist Mary Martin, and pianist-comedian Victor Borge.

The Music Hall had a low-key distinctive sound that Crosby carefully cultivated. Oddly enough, he discouraged applause between performances, feeling this slowed the pace of the program. Numerous big-name musicians, artists, and entertainers became regular guests. It was said they appreciated Crosby’s charm and “gracious informality,” which Bing masterfully employed to make them feel as if they were stars of the show. The long list of illustrious guests included the likes of: Duke Ellington, Jack Teagarten, Lionel Barrymore, Humphery Bogart, Robert Benchley, Pat O’Brien, and Bob Hope.

Late in 1945 a disagreement arose between Crosby and NBC. Bing had heard of a new method of sound recording developed in Germany which used plastic-backed tape that could reproduce sounds of superior quality. Crosby immediately saw the advantages of using these tapes to pre-record his radio programs –producing four shows in a week and then taking the rest of the month off. The network and sponsors had long opposed pre-recorded programs, fearing the public’s reaction to a “canned” show. Crosby insisted on taping and in the end, walked out on Kraft and NBC. The Music Hall continued broadcasts until 1949, first under the leadership of Edward Horton and later by the show’s old host and singing star, Al Jolson.

In 1946 Crosby started “Philco Radio-Time” on ABC and made history with radio’s first taped program. The show had a very similar format to Kraft Music Hall and pulled respectable ratings in its three years on the air. By doing this Crosby demonstrated to everyone the high quality of audiotape recordings and the fact that the public could accept non-live broadcasts. These discoveries would soon have a tremendous influence on both the music industry and the infant medium of television. -CP

But we old guys will never forget "Pearl" and the heroes it made and the lives that were sacrificed on the altar of such a noble cause. It thrust our nation into a world confligration that threatened the freedoms of people.

I found several wonderful web sites for those who want to seriously understand the attack on Pearl Harbor. They are excellent presentations of what happened at Pearl Harbor 1941. You can link to them at the end of this article. The National Geographic site is superb. Click the movie to get an overview and then click the scrapbook to read some of the stories of those who were there.

You won't regret visiting these sites in order to see and hear all the information about that fateful day. For a few, it will refresh the memory. For most who would visit, it will teach them about something they never really knew about other that what Hollywood had tried to portray.

Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto headed up the attack, but did you know this about him? Isoroku Yamamoto studied at Harvard from 1919 to 1921, and returned to the United States in 1925 on a diplomatic mission. He didn't want to go to war with the United States, but when called upon by his country Yamamoto planned the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor and then led the Japanese navy to its early victories in World War II. When the U.S. decoded a Japanese message in 1943 that included Admiral Yamamoto's itinerary, they ambushed his plane in the south Pacific and killed him.

The site even has excellent audio of all the main newscasts so there is no need foe Ramblin's to add it to this article. Here is a sample of their written presentation:

Pearl Harbor, on the Island of O'ahu, Hawaii, (then a territory of the United States) was attacked by the Japanese Imperial Navy, at approximately 8:00 A.M., Sunday morning, December 7, 1941.

The surprise attack had been conceived by Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto. The strking force of 353 Japanese aircraft was led by Commander Mitsuo Fuchida. There had been no formal declaration of war.

Approximately 100 ships of the U.S. Navy were out to sea, which was American's salvation. Two destroyers, the USS Cassin (DD372) and the USS Downes (DD375) were in dry dock #1 (with the USS Pennsylvania) and the destroyer USS Shaw (DD373) was in floating dry dock #2, approximately two hundred yards to the west. The USS Ogala (CM-4) was moored next to the USS Helena (CL50) near the "1010" dock, Naval Ship yard. Two heavy cruisers, the USS New Orleans (CA32) and the San Francisco (CA38) were in the Navy Yard Repair Basin.

Present that morning in the harbor of Pearl were battleships, destroyers, cruisers and various support ships.

USS Arizona (BB39) Battleship
USS West Virginia (BB48) Battleship
USS California (BB44) Battleship
USS Oklahoma (BB37) Battleship
USS Nevada (BB36) Battleship
USS Pennsylvania (BB38) Battleship (in dry dock #1)
USS Tennessee (BB43) Battleship
USS Maryland (BB46) Battleship
USS Vestal (AR4) Repair ship
USS Neosho (AO23) Oiler
USS Detroit (CL8) Light cruiser
USS Raleigh (CL7) Light cruiser
USS Utah (AG16) Target Ship
USS Tangier (AV8) Seaplane Tender

Over half the U.S. Pacific fleet was out to sea, including the carriers. If they had not been.... who knows?

Simultaneously, nearby Hickam Field was also the victim of the surprise attack by the Japanese. 18 Army Aircorps aircraft including bombers and fighters and attack bombers were destroyed or damaged on the ground. A few U.S. fighters struggled into the air against the invaders and gave a good account of themselves.

A total of twenty-nine Japanese aircraft were shot down by ground fire and U.S pilots from various military installations on O'ahu.

The freedom we all enjoy today was bought with a serious price. Freeedom is not free. It never has been.

It was early December so we probably didn't have much snow but White Christmases were so common they were no big deal. Most of the snow came in January when we could we all could work on our snow fort in the side yard and making sure a large supply of snowballs would be stored in the ammunition cache. Low temperatures assured that our arsenal would not be depleted. One never knew exactly when our friends down on Maple Terrace would come by, ready for a friendly snowball fight.

Side streets in Wauwatosa rarely got plowed, but when they did it added to the size of the “snow banks” – that area between the sidewalk and the curb of the street that was sometimes referred to as a boulevard since we didn’t have a real one in our neighborhood. . The plows threw the snow to the right toward the sidewalk side of the street and later the we would be shoveling the sidewalks adding to the pile the plows has made.

And talk about a “battle! The shoveling homeowner and the snowplow drivers seemed to always be at odds inadvertantly confronting one another! As soon as the driveway was shoveled out, the snowplow would make another run down our street and shove all the slush and snow back into the freshly cleared off driveway. It needs to be pointed out here that the summits of the snow banks at driveways were always higher than the wasteland in between because of the large area to be cleared compared to the sidewalk and the ongoing dual between the “shoveler and the plower.”

It was about dinnertime and I was “called in.” Dad and Uncle Haldane were in the living room and had a cannel coal fire burning in the fireplace -- we never used wood. I’ll never forget that afternoon. Dad and Uncle Haldane were talking about news they had just heard. The “Japs” had just bombed Pearl Harbor. One of them said (can’t remember which one), “This means we are at war!” The news reports continued over our 1938 Philco console. I think they were also saying that in addition to the bombing of Pearl Harbor, our merchant ships, on the way to England across the North Atlantic were also being torpedoed.

America would never be the same. An entirely new society and culture was going to rise up out of this world-shaking event. I was the dreamer and known for my wild imagination. (My older brothers used to tease me by calling me Joseph.) There had been enough family conversations and radio news about war in Europe for the past two years that I had an idea of what war was but had no clue as to how horrifying and personal it really was.

I distinctly remember looking into the fire on that Sunday afternoon, as it was getting dark and the reports kept coming in, and saying melodramatically, “Someday our home will be burning like that.” The immediate response from my father and uncle was, “What’s the matter with you? Don’t talk like that!” I retreated back into my pretend world of adventure. Shazam, Captain Marvel!

Do you know why World War II was so important to me? Why I learned all the names and shapes of our airplanes and the enemies and could identify them by silhouette? Why every man and woman soldier was my hero? How I knew all about Point du Hoc and what the commandos did? Why the phrase “dirty Japs” was often heard coming out of my mouth? Why my proudest possession was an Air Raid Warden’s outfit complete with armband, helmet and special flashlight? Why I was so proud of Tom Stockinger’s brother and the blue star banner they had hanging in the window on Maple Terrace?

It was because this little boy knew nothing other than World War and all the news and conversation that surrounded it for five important years in his growth – ages 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11. It played such an important role in making me who I am today and why I think as I do; why I love my country as I do and why I fly the flag on a pole in the front yard and have a spotlight on it at night.

You boomers and younger can never know what pride, unity, and patriotism we experienced in the 40’s. No political party was trying to “best” the other with maneuvers, smoke and mirrors. We were truly “one nation” – and back then it didn’t say so in the Pledge of Allegiance but we were a nation definitely “under God!”

It’s about time we do more than Christmas shopping to get us spiritually ready for Christmas. One of the several varieties and colors of Christmas Cacti we raise is far more ready for Christmas than I am both spiritually and in carrying out family traditions. Check out the beauty of that cactus and the intricacies of God’s creation. The colors of the petals, stamens and pistol are stunning.

The first Sunday of Advent was yesterday. Having been raised in a non-liturgical church and then serving Southern Baptist Churches for thirty-five years before starting this broadcast agency, I didn’t pay much attention to formality and tradition like “Advent.” This is much to my personal loss. Nancy made an Advent Wreath at our neighborhood Lutheran church yesterday. After the service, they had a wonderful time of fellowship with delicious homemade soup and bread. A tinge of “German” there, would you not say?

COME CLOSE AND SEE!

Take your bible and turn to the following Scripture -- John 1:39
Prayerfully read the verses two times, and then read the Advent Devotional that follows written by Dr. Thomas Q. Robbins, Pastor of the University Park United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas. Then spend a few moments in prayer using the suggestions Thomas Q. offers. Be sure to wait a few moments in silence to let your Creator God speak to you.

Think About It
The response of Jesus to the disciples of John of “Come and See” is Jesus’ response to any and all who would approach Him. “Come and See.” Jesus can’t be known from a distance or from a sort of objective observation that tries to analyze the situation. Jesus must be approached and he has issued an ongoing invitation.

We must see and experience Him in the most intimate of ways. To really know or prove whether or not Christianity is true or false, it must be lived wholeheartedly as Jesus says to us, “Come and See.” This phase, "Come and See" means so much to me I have used it as a name for our broadcast and teaching ministry. Jesus says to you, “Come and See” how loving, merciful, forgiving, directive, and comforting he is.

Prayer:
You shared human life with us and human suffering and human death. In vulnerability you made an overture toward us in Jesus Christ in the hope that we would respond in love and trust. Make that true in my heart, oh Crucified One, and in Thy Name help me to offer my vulnerability to others so they, too, might be enfolded in your love forever.

Are you really approachable, Lord? Are you asking me to get closer to You and experience You not only through my senses but also through my very soul? I know what your answer is and it seems almost too good to be true. Your answer is always, “Come and See!”

Dr. Thomas Q. Robbins, Senior Pastor
University Park Methodist, Dallas, Texas.

We were reminding ourselves that the use of a “winter tree” had long been a pagan practice and part of the observance of the sacred “Winter Solstice.” At some point, Christianity adopted the tradition. I really wasn’t sure how that happened but I remembered that Martin Luther was connected with starting the tradition of putting candles on Christmas trees which were by that time a regular part of home decoration in Germany.

I was embarrassed that I really didn’t have a clear idea of how the use of a Christmas tree had come into common practice for the celebration of Christ’s birth, so I went to William J. Fedder’s book, There Really is a Santa Claus, “The History of St. Nicholas and the Christmas Holiday.” It’s an outstanding collection of the traditions and observances of Christmas throughout the centuries. I found this passage that answered some of my questions:

“In the year 200 AD, the early church Father, Tertullian wrote:

“You are the light of the world, a tree ever green, if you have renounced the heathen temple.”

In the 400’s AD, St Boniface was sent by Pope Gregory II as a missionary to heathen Germany. One of the first things he did was to confront the Chieftain Gundhar, who was about to offer little Prince Asulf as a bloody sacrifice to Thor, their pagan God who supposedly lived in the huge oak tree at Geismar.

St. Boniface boldly took an axe and after many swings at the mighty “blood oak” tree, an enormous wind arrived and blew the tree over! The heathen throng was in total awe. Then pointing to an evergreen tree that was next to where the mighty oak had stood, St. Boniface stated:

This is the word, and this is the counsel. Not a drop of blood shall fall tonight for this is the birth night of St. Christ, Son of the t All-Father and Savior of the world. This little tree, a young child of the forest, shall be a “home tree” tonight. It is the wood of peace for you houses are built of fir. It is the sign of endless life for it’s branches are ever green. See how the tree points toward Heaven? Let this little tree be called the tree of the Christ Child; gather about it, not in the wild woods but in your warm homes; there it will shelter no deeds of blood but loving gifts and lights of kindness.

Last Saturday Mary and I manned and womanned and childrenned the Salvation Army kettle outside of Foley's Department Store at the Southglenn Shopping Center at the corner of Arrapahoe and University in Denver. We had the only kettle in the entire huge shopping center. We had a great time with the grandchildren, Paige and Grace Rooney and rang from noon to 2:00 pm. I'd say that the good people who came buy to "share" gave some $100.00 during our assignment. And half of that was the result of having two beautiful children with us.

Sometime I'll write a piece about the various types of people who walked by and how the ones who did not choose to give handled it -- all the way from getting as far away from the kettle as possible and still being able to walk through the entrance but with head down and eyes to the cement to those who had a spirit of arrogance and looked right at you passing between you and the gift kettle leaving a cloud of "you can take this kettle and ......."

It was refreshing that only two took this tact. It was so neat to have people not choose to give but spoke a greeting, made a comment, or stopped to talk.

What Mary, Paige, Grace and I did Saturday was to help the Salvation Army maintain a presence that would not otherwise be possible. Interesting that on the same day we were at Foley's, two of our grandsons were boying Salvation Army Kettles with the Y-Guide program at a grocery store over in Centennial.

But look what may have to happen when interested "helpers" become scarce. JAY REEVES wrote this Associated Press article that appeared in the Birmingham Mecury this past week:

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - There's a reason that smiling Salvation Army bell-ringer looks a little stiff this Christmas season, and it's not the cold weather.

Banned from Target stores and faced with a shortage of holiday volunteers, the Salvation Army is using scores of animated, cardboard bell-ringers on a test basis to staff its red donation kettles in stores across the South.

Equipped with motion sensors, each corrugated cutout has a battery-operated, motorized arm that waves a silent cardboard bell. Anyone who draws near hears a loud, jingling sound from a speaker and a cheery "Merry Christmas, God bless you."

The cutouts, which bear the image of a uniformed Salvation Army officer, are being used at 200 Books-A-Million and Hibbett Sporting Goods stores in 14 states. The kettles are kept inside the stores to ward off theft, and volunteers gather up the donations every three days.

The idea came from Charles Anderson, chairman of Anderson Media Co., the parent company of Birmingham-based Books-A-Million, which paid for the cutouts. Anderson is also a member of Salvation Army's advisory board.

"It's a fun approach," said Mark Brown, the charity's Birmingham-area commander. "Even as we were assembling them people were coming up and saying, `Let me put some money in your kettle.'"

Target this year banned Salvation Army bell ringers from its stores after years of exempting the charity from its blanket policy against solicitation. The chain was the charity's second-largest collection point last year, accounting for 10 percent of the almost $94 million raised nationwide.

"We're trying to maintain our visibility. We want to keep that opportunity for donors to see us and make a donation in a very traditional way," Brown said.

ON THE NET

Da Cajun 12 Day ah Christmas.

Day 1
Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed It las night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Peartree would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.

Day 2
Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got was 2 scrawny pigeon. Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.

Day 3
Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I'm tired of eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to Mrs.Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog, Phideaux. Mrs.Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4
Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Doz four, what you call "calling bird" wuz so noisy you could hear dem all da'way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the rest of dem to da gators.

Day 5
Dear Emile, You finally sent something useful. I liked dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da' pawn shop in Sulphur and got enough money to fix the shaft on my shrimp boat, and to buy a round for daboys at the Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoupees!

Day 6
Dear Emile, Couchon! Back to da birds, you dumb coon turkey! My poor egg-sucking Phideaux is scared to death ah dem six goose. He try to eat they eggs and they pecked the heck out ah his snout. Dem goose are so good at eating cockroach around da' house, though. I may stuff one ah dem goose with erster dressing to serve him on Christmas Day.

Day 7
Dear Emile, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Ole Boudreaux, da mailman, is ready to kill you, too. The crap from all dem bird is stinkin up his mail boat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and gonna sue him. I let dem seven swan loose to swim on da bayou and some stupid duck hunter from Mississippi done blasted dem out da water. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day 8
Dear Emile, Poor ole Boudreaux had to make 3 trips on his mail boat to deliver dem 8 maids-a-milking & der cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me. I told dem to get to work gutting fish and sweeping my shack--but dey say it wasn't in their contract. They probably tink they too good to skin all dem nutria I caught las night.

Day 9
Dear Emile, What you trying to do? Boudreaux had to borrow da Cameron Ferry to carry these jumping twits you call lords-a-leaping across da bayou. As soon as dey got here dey wanted a tea break and crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, "Well la di da. You get Chicory coffee or nuthin." Mon Dieux, Emile, what I'm gonna feed all these bozos? They too snooty for fried nutria, and da cow ate up all my turnip green.

Day 10
Dear Emile, You got to be out of you mind. If da mailman don't kill you, I will. Today he deliver 10 floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey said they be ladies dancing" but they doan act like ladies in front of dem Limey sailing boys. Dey almost left after one of them got bit by a water moccasin over by my out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde (everybody) and get toilet paper rolls. The Sears catalog wasn't good enough for dem hoity toity lords. Talk at you tomorrow.

Day 11
Dear Emile, Where Y'at? Cherio and pip pip. Your 11 Pipers Piping arrived today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off da boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jumbalaya, finished da whiskey,and we're having a fais-do-do. Da' new mailman drank a bottle of Jack Daniel, and he's having a good old time dancing with the floozies. Da' old mailman done jump off the Moss Bluff Bridge yesterday, screaming you name. If you happen to get a mysterious-looking, ticking package in da mail, don't open it.

Day 12
Dear Emile, Me I'm sorry to tell you--but I am not your true love anymore. After the fais-do-do, I spent da night with Jacque, the headpiper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemen's club on the bayou. The floozies--pardon me--ladies dancing can make a lotta money, and the lords can be the waiters and valet park da boats. Since da' maids have no more cows to milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, and run my shrimping business. We'll probably gross a million dollars next year!

Ah yes, ‘tis the season for yet another holiday tradition! Just like good ole Saint Nick himself it’s time for that long-lived and oft-maligned gastronomic wonder, the noble fruitcake, to rise from it’s darkened celestial cupboard and set out on its holiday “gift given” rounds, spreading joy and good cheer the wide world over.

And to serve as a yuletide warning for all the headstrong and precocious children of the planet to behave themselves, ere the firm hands of justice should force them in punishment to actually eat a piece!

As far back as the gilded Christmas age of Charles Dickens’ England, the fruitcake has suffered the “slings and arrows of outrageous” culinary reviews. It was Dickens himself who once referred to it as “a geological homemade cake,” but it was under Johnny Carson’s watch on the Tonight Show that fruitcakedom witnessed its public relations low-point with a series “vicious and slanderous” chucklers, the best of which was… “There’s only one fruitcake in the entire U.S. and it’s passed around year after year, from family to family!”

Not laughing? Well I suppose we lack Ed McMahon’s “Ho-Ho’ing” shotgun-backup for the full “Carson effect.”

There are a few among fruitcake’s myriad fans (and those who just pretend to be for “image’s sake”) that trace its beginnings back to Egyptian times when cakes of dried fruit (in a tasteful dusting of natron) were prepared for the Pharaoh to take with him into the afterlife.

Still others cite the first fruitcakes occurring in Roman times, when a sumptuous mélange of raisins, pine nuts, and pomegranate were set in a barley mash and baked to produce a dense, durable food stuff that could easily travel on long campaigns with the conquering legions.

During the Middle Ages in Europe honey became an essential ingredient of the cakes, as a flavoring and a preservative. With the advent of cheap sugar, brought by the colonial trade of the 1600’s, fruitcake’s shelf-life steadily increased as the nuts and fruity bits were soaked in greater and greater concentrations of sugar.

By the 1700’s these cakes were used in various religious festivals, harvest celebrations, and weddings. In rural communities the harvest was marked by the baking of special cakes, which were stored until the following year to bring luck to the new year’s crop. Along a similar vein, in some parts of England the upper layer of wedding cakes (the bride’s cake) is still made of fruitcake, which the newly wed couple keeps for the coming year(s).

No one seems to be certain why fruitcakes became associated with Christmas time, but one imaginative story involves a late 1700’s English custom of handing out slices of cake to impoverished women who traveled door to door at Christmas, singing carols. Another possibility involves another English law from the 1700’s, which restricts the use of plum cake (i.e. fruitcake) to Christmas, Easter, weddings, christenings and funerals. In any case most fruitcakes are eaten (or I should say, “sold”) at holiday time.

Here in America, the modern Christmas fruitcake comes in two basic varieties, typically formed into a dense ring-shaped loaf, often topped in pecans. One variety is the “light fruitcake;” this uses sugar or corn syrup and a mixture of walnuts, almonds, pecans, golden raisins, pineapple, lemon rind, apricot, and cherry, bound in a sweet heavy dough.

"Dark fruitcakes" employ brown sugar or molasses as the main sweetener, and often use additional fruits such as dark raisins, prunes, and dates. Both varieties are often available with bourbon, brandy, or some other eau de vie as an added flavoring.

Despite all the jokes and their bad image, fruitcakes can be big business. The two largest fruitcake companies hail from the rural South, where traditionally fruit and nutmeats were available at bargain prices. The top-selling fruitcake company is the Claxton Bakery out of Claxton, Georgia -- you've seen it with it's two inch square loaf that is about eight inches long and chucked full of Georgia pecans. The rival to Claxton is the Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana, Texas. The Claxton Bakery does not readily disclose exactly how many of their unusual brick shaped “beauties” are foisted upon humanity each year, but in one article they mention that a single government commissary once placed an order for 65,000 cakes. Oddly enough, a surprisingly large portion of all fruitcakes produced go to Japan!

For those brave few souls who feel inspired to actually do some fruitcake nibbling this holiday season, I can offer but a scant few tips. Sadly –perhaps I mean “happily”- my experience has been limited to only a few mass-produced examples of the fruitcake baker’s art. I suppose I should also warn you that my opinion is further handicapped by a hatred of maraschino cherries!

Most of the fruitcakes I’ve eaten have struck me as quite dry and bland, but find that the Claxton fruitcakes (while still bland compared to fruit breads like German stollen, Italian panetone, and French kougelhof) …the Claxton cakes have a wet dense texture that I find a bit more palatable than other options I’ve sampled -including the fruit-flavored CLIF and Powerbars that mountainbikers and "outdoorsy types" so often rave about. I've never had a Collin Street fruitcake, but know those who swear by them. (Or was it "at them?") I hear that the dark variety of fruitcake has a bolder flavor and that all of them are much improved if they’ve been baked with a little bourbon or some other liqueur.

Fruitcakes also improve with time; a good three months are required for the flavors from the fruits to fully blend and meld into the sweet doughy binder. Carefully stored, a fruitcake can last for years! The first thing to "go" on them will be the nuts.

Though I’ve never tried them, I hear that Trappist monks can make some pretty good fruitcakes! Two “orders” renowned for their bourbon laced cakes are the Abbey of Gethsemane near Louisville, Kentucky (www.monks.org) and the Holy Cross Abbey in Berryville, Virginia. (www.monasteryfruitcake.org).

For those curious to have a look at the operations of the top-producing Claxton Bakery their web address is www.claxtonfruitcake.com. And in the interest of granting equal billing for our "Texas friends" the Collin Street Bakery's site is www.collinstreetbakery.com.